On Leaving Facebook

Part 1. The Note

The first time I committed facebookicide was on the 18^th of March 2010. I left the following note (now slightly abridged) and cut myself loose.

“It’s not you – it’s me”

As some of you might have noticed, I have defriended you all. Not that there was anything wrong with you – far from it! There was only one thing wrong with facebook: my presence.

People with more self-control and less (self)criticism can be perfectly happy with the world of facebook, but for me it’s been a love–hate relationship all the way, and there was more hate than love in that cocktail if I’m honest, and not nearly enough tequila.

I always liked to see the things you wrote, and at times liked posting things myself, but there were more than one element growing increasingly insufferable […]. All this gave me feelings of intense nervousness and disbelonging. I had to get away... away from the world of the thumbs up. And I couldn’t stop checking it out nonetheless... Not wanting to be there, yet not being able to stop myself from visiting the place way too often, see here my split personality to the fullest.

[…] Again: there’s nothing wrong with facebook, nor with you out there using and enjoying it. Only: it’s not for me. I don’t want to be part of a world that prefers the like-button over the self-typed message. Prefab writing, I don’t like. […] I don’t want to stand here and let friendship be devaluated, and I most certainly don’t want writing be devaluated.

I’ll keep the account to safe my photographs and the good history we had. And to check out your faces every once in a while, when I miss you and like to be entertained & shocked. And perhaps I can learn to love this bomb in the future. Anyone wanting to stay in contact can do so by e-mail. Love you,

Martijn