Another Day in Paradise

After having isolated myself completely on a well-known ‘social network site’ on three occasions, I recently found myself accepting people and writing snippets on it again. There was no particular reason for it and the writings (or messages) were improvised and in no way attached. Just some loose messages, mostly with nauseating comic intentions, reflecting on the social network itself and the ways of the people. Of course I should not have been surprised most of my choleric shouts received utter silence, yet surprised I was. Some people never learn. I am some people. I will collect a few of the blips here (only three days worth), not because I attach much value to them, but because this is a safe place (in case of termination of the social network site) and their writing will not have been a complete waste of time.

• Not having anything to say is no excuse for your silence.

• People who want you to acknowledge, approve of and applaud their happiness but exclude you from their sorrow or misfortune are not your friends.

• The pursuit of happiness leads to disappointment and depression. Let's pursuit adventure... or some form of interesting depravity.

• The difference between a Romantic and a Non-Romantic is about 300 friends... or 20 bucks.

• Too much humour leads to melancholia. Too much melancholia leads to depression. Too much depression leads to humour.

• Ah sentiment... as long as one uses it with a simpleton naivety, it doesn't even have to sound fake at all. I love you people!

• When someone tells me (for instance in a story) about a one-armed man, my first question is not ‘what happened?’, but ‘which arm?’ I think this says a lot about me.

• Aggressive, ambitious salesmen make me nervous and agitated. This is not logical: the one with the upper hand is I! They are the ones wanting something from me: I should marvel in my power. Same with women who say they ‘have had it’ with sexual advances from ‘pushy’ men. Let them realise they are the consumers in a buyer’s market.

• Amorality looks best in an extremely well-spoken, innocent and polite person. That’s my dream: a well-dressed cannibal who uses cutlery and a napkin. Evil doesn’t have to be banal.

• I’m a spy.

• Working on my Green Bean Spleen Machine. The girl in the Patent Office laughed in my face. Damnit.

• Conformity is the secret of success.

• My new aim in life is doing mischief. Forget about evil… it’s the little things that matter.

• Just mumbling to myself... here in a quiet spot of my own. When I post on center court and there's this deathly silence all around, I feel like I'm masturbating in public. Whereas... I just want to make love to you.

• Gawd... deliver me from my love.

• I started my morning with making some karate moves in the mirror. Very impressive!

• The cacti are sadly swaying back & forth in my windowsill…

• “Razzia Schnapps” how’s that for a band name?

• I like facebook… it’s all part of the discouragement policy we call life.

• Friendship for life… l’chaim!

• Oh it was a beautiful sight! The people fought like animals in there. At least those with a passion or necessity. The others just stood there blank-faced munching on a filet americain sandwich.

• I took a walk in the desert today. It had rocks in it and differently coloured sand.

• People need hardship to feel alive. Some turn long-distance runner, others go camping, women have PMS and some work in an office. I like to watch TV.

• Society is a goose-stepping class.

• To get through life, all it takes is a talent for colonialism.

• Don't you just love my facebook space? With all the portraits of my friends hanging on the wall, some snazzy state-of-the-art emoticon buttons. And then this emptiness in here! That's my specialty. This emptiness was designed by Albert Speer.

• Coincidentally, my disappointment was designed by Speer too. My shame? You guessed it: it's a Speer. My loneliness is a Speer 9000. If I didn't like getting dirty I would not come here.

At that point some people began to protest although the majority remained silent. Next morsels will follow…