Chimamandanata

Meet Chimamandanata, my idol. She came into my life one rainy Wednesday afternoon, for just a buck fifty, taxes included. Don't be fooled by her minute size: the celestial powers she harbours are unfathomable! When I hold her in my hands, the whole room begins to vibrate with primordial élan. She's the Goddess of Books, the Lawless & Contradictorians and Unblurred Boobies. Her name meaning "My God will never Fail". Her shiny beads & breasts will tell you I'm not lying. I'm glad I found her: I need someone on my side who's God never fails, because mine does unremittingly. But that's what I like so much about Him… it makes Him all the more real. That and His appreciation of Suffering. Chimamandanata is His perfect opposite. We will be happy together. And our enemies smitten. Praise Chimamandanata!